The past year and a half has been a whirlwind for a lot of us. Some of us have experienced the loss of a loved one or maybe a job. These traumatic events can bring about a ton of emotions that can go as far as affecting our everyday activities. For some this won’t last long, but for others this can be a long process. Grief can be a strong and sometimes overwhelming emotion for a lot of people, but what exactly is grief?

Grief is the natural reaction to a loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away from you. This can be the loss of a loved one, a job, a pet, a relationship, health or independence, financial stability, sense of security or it can also be brought on by a loved one’s serious illness. The pain from these losses can be overwhelming. You may feel numb or shocked. You could feel sad or guilty. You may be angry or scared. Feeling all of these things is completely normal and there is no timetable for when the pain will go away. It differs for everyone. It is important to prepare yourself and allow the process to unfold. Grieving can also have physical effects such as fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or gain, aches and pains, and trouble sleeping.

There are several different types of grief. Anticipatory grief develops before a significant loss takes place. If your loved one has a terminal illness or you know a job loss or retirement is imminent, you might start grieving before the loss actually happens. This type of grief can allow you to prepare for your loss, allowing you to say goodbyes or tie up unfinished business. Disenfranchised grief is grief that occurs when your loss is devalued, stigmatized, or can’t be openly mourned. Some people may minimize a loss as something that isn’t worth grieving over or you may feel stigmatized for grieving someone you lost to suicide, for example. It can also occur when your relationship to the loss isn’t recognized. When the pain from a loss doesn’t get better over time and continues to disrupt your daily life then you may be experiencing complicated grief. Complicated grief usually arises from losing a loved one. This loss can oftentimes leave us in a state of shock where we are unable to accept that our loved one is gone. You may feel intense longing or feel as though that life is not worth living. It is important to take the appropriate steps to heal and it is important to support anyone you may know that is grieving.

Grief can lead to depression. A longitudinal study found that 1 month after people were widowed, 40% of those people met the criteria for major depression, but this decreased to 15% after a year. Grief can lead to a lot of negative feelings that if left untreated can lead to harmful behavior. People may turn to substance abuse to try to cope with their grief. Over time this can lead to an addiction. Developing a mental illness due to grief can be caused by several things:

●     Underlying mental health disorder that is exacerbated by grief

●     Genetic predisposition to mental illness

●     Problems coping with grief in a healthy manner

●     Substance abuse

●     Brain changes that make it harder for some people to let go.

Grief is most notably broken down into five stages, known as “The 5 Stages of Grief”. In 1969, a psychiatrist by the name of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the model that demonstrates the progression of grief based on her studies of the feelings that terminally ill patients felt. Those suffering with grief tend to experience it in the following progression: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In the Denial stage, those suffering will experience shock that will lead to a feeling of meaninglessness and numbness. The Anger stage is self-explanatory, as those suffering with grief will use anger to disguise their pain. Those entering the Bargaining stage tend to look for ways to change the circumstances of the situation and want to gain control of the situation. In the Depression stage, the weight of sadness takes over and therapy with a mental health professional is typically the best route for those in this stage. Finally, acceptance is reached but the grief isn’t completely gone once reached. Grief may come in waves and anyone experiencing grief could easily re-enter a stage if triggered.

Now how do you recover from grieving? There’s unfortunately no single way that will end the process, but there are different strategies to take in order to recover. Seeking grief therapy with a professional will guide you along the recovery journey, as well as give you an outlet to speak your true thoughts. Therapy with mental health professionals will allow you to work through current and previous trauma while giving you an overall better sense of self. Any way to properly cope with sadness & grief will lead to long-term recovery. If you or anyone you know is struggling with their grief, please contact your nearest licensed mental health professional.